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Origin Of The Walken

June 9, 2014

The Origins of The Walken


Hello there humans who might be reading this,   my name is Chris and I am here to tell you my story,   I am a Walken –   an alpha to be precise.

But this wasn’t always so,    I was once a human named Nathan who was a scientist and monster expert.

That was until the one night that changed my life forever,   that was when I met Jon – who was an expert on things that were Walken related.

Speaking of which,   this is where he came in.   I had been having a series of dreams that were dark and mystical in tone,  of me shifting and changing – becoming like…Walken both mentally and physically.    But I had no idea what they meant.    

I woke up from them feeling puzzled but intrigued  – I  wanted to learn more of this.   I got out of bed and sighed:

“Woah..what a weird dream!”

“What was it about?”

“You’re not gonna believe me if I tell you but…I dreamed that I was Walken.”

“Ah…you’ve had ‘the dream’.”

“What dream?”

“The ones where you transform into Chris Walken.”

“Woah!  Yeah…those were pretty amazing…if only…”

“If only what?”

“ If only that  dream was true… it was interesting though.”


“What are you thinking?”

“Maybe there is a way I can make it come true.  But how?”

“Well,  there is this program I set up. But i’m kind of hesistant to use it. It might be irrevisible and dangerous.”

“Tell me about it…what does this program do?”

“It is called the Walken Hypnosis can be used to hypnotize people into feel that they are Walken…or sometimes turn them into him or give them his traits.   It can also help make them into creatures known as ‘Walkens’.”

“Oh yes..I can do this too.  A program would make it easier though.”

“You know something about these creatures?”

“Oh yes…a whole lot!”

“So…are you saying you could turn me into one of these ‘Walkens’?”

“Not just that but make you an alpha Walken as well.”

“An alpha?”

“Yes…you would be able to transform others as well.  So what do you say?”

“Well I could try it on..but I doubt it would actually work..heh heh..I mean someone like me turning into Chris..what are the odds of that?”

“What means does the program use to induce hypnosis?”

“There are a series of trigger words and phrases to which one can use to trigger the hypnosis. But I do warn you though…that this Walken hypnosis program is dangerous…and there is a slight chance of whoever gets affected turning evil. I was going to test this out on some friends of mine but they’re gone off with my older bro so I guess we don’t have a test subject.”

“I believe I can improve upon this program.”

“It’s supposed to help reawaken a dormant aura/gene of sorts known as the Walken aura…this dormant aura/gene is supposed to give whoever possess it beyond supernatural powers and Walken-like attributes.”

“I see. I think I can use this to actually make it from a hypnotic suggestion to reality, if I were allowed to deepen the trance enough. Which I am well capable of. In fact, I intend to do you…right now.”

“Right now?  I don’t know…it could be dangerous..the Walken gene/aura is a dangerous one..there is a slight chance of me killing people while morphed and not remembering a thing about it when I demorph…that’s a little thing called Killer’s applies to shapeshifters too.”

“Look into my eyes, Nathan.”   

Hesitantly,   I gazed into Jon’s eyes and as I did –  I began to weaken and go into a trance-like state –  I couldn’t think of anything at all except for his gaze and his voice.

“Uhh..uhh.. I feel”

“Relax…listen to the sound of my voice..and only my voice.”

I listened and as I did I found my will and my mind slowly slipping away,  along with all my troubles.

“Yes…I will do as you tell me.”

“Nathan, allow your will to slip away..fall into a deep, deep…deep….deep….trance….a trance so deep, that my words will become your reality.”

I continued to let my mind and will to slip away,  I felt strange but in a very nice and soothing sort of way.    This was due to the ‘Walken’ gene cells taking over from the inside and Walkenizing me from the inside.

“Say this: Jon’s words are my reality..”

“Jon’s words are my reality…Jon’s words are my reality.”

My mind was thinking: “’t listen to him..this is a trick. I don’t want this to happen..please”  but due to the Walkenization it was also starting to think: “Yes…Jon’s words are my reality.”

“Now I say words, they will become your reality. Therefore, I can make you become anything I say…I can make you do anything I say. There is no impossible if I say it. You are so deeply hypnotized, you cannot resist.  And all I say to you, you will love.”

“Yes my master…i will become anything you want me to be..i’ll listen to you…i’ll do anything you say..i’ll love it..i won’t say no..”

“That’s it….”

The effects of the trance were increasing slightly as I began to feel strange,  the whole room was being drained of all colour and turning black and white with the exception of Jon and I.   It was quite scary but I didn’t mind it

My mind was protesting “Ugh..i don’t feel so good..what’s going on?”  but deep down it secretly knew that it really wanted this.

“Oooohhh…aaaawrrgh…it feels different…what’s going on?”

“You now are becoming Christopher are Christopher Walken.”

“Huh?   Walken?  Me?”

I held my head for a few seconds,  trying to think but it was getting increasingly difficult to do so due to the trance and my mind being Walkenized.

“Yes…you arrre…”

“Oooh..aaah..what’s going on?  It’s weird but it feels good…”

My mind was slowly altering to become Walkenized,  as the first Walken-like thought to escape from it was: “Why do I have the sudden urge to drive fast and go right into the middle of a brutal car crash?”

A low growl escaped from my throat,  I covered my mouth in embarrassment.   Did I really just growl like that?

“You are forgetting the being once known as Nathan a fading dream.”

As Jon spoke those words my mind continued to Walkenize –  all my previous inner mannerisms and thoughts were being replaced by new ones.    I was even beginning to forget what my life as a human was like.   

“…aaah..aah..aah..weird, but yet….goood. What’s happening, master?”

“My words are simply becoming your reality. Now, you will relax, continue to listen to my voice, and accept your programing. You will continue to forget who you were, and become who you are. You are Walken. Do not question it. Accept it.”


I moaned slightly as my mind became more Walkenized,  my human mind still struggling as it protested: “No I refuse to believe this..get it together’re not Walken.”

Ominious music played in the background and in a flurry,   I rushed over to the window and ripped the curtains open to reveal the blood red moon.

I could not look away,  it just looked so beautiful and yet it reminded me of..blood…and that made me instinctively lick my lips.


“Is that who I am becoming now?”


I looked up at the moon and suddenly felt rather strange,  but in a good way –  it made me feel stronger.   Just then I felt a series of strange sensations jolting through my body which made my mind react with: 

“Aaaaah…aaaaahh..oh hurts, please..I beg you..don’t do this.”

But Jon noticed this and came over to comfort me,  he spoke in a soft tone before reassuring me with these words:

“The pain is from your resistance. I have made this very easy for you. Stop and look into my eyes and relax…”

My mind protested once more,  this time the protest went a little like this:  “Newsflash…the transformation ALWAYS hurts the first time. Haven’t you seen An American Werewolf In London? Let me tell ya something…that wasn’t resistance that was causing David to be in pain as he transformed – it’s because the process itself WAS painful and terrifying. I mean how would you like it if someone made you transform into some horrific bloodthirsty killing machine?”

As this was happening I was noticing that my dark blue jeans I had been wearing were peeling away and reforming into a pair of dark grey trousers as a brown belt snaked itself around my waist.    My socks and slippers were reforming into a pair black dress shoes as the skintone on my legs slowly paled. 

The dark blue Metallica shirt I wore was slowly tearing and peeling away –  only to morph and reform into an elegant dark grey dress shirt.

“There is no pain…it is bliss. My words are your reality.”

I was enjoying the process but my mind gave out another thought of protest,  this time saying: 

“Yeah, but this is a very bad idea. And I don’t mean bad as in the bad = good perspective like in Megamind, oh no..I mean bad as in the whole…”i’m going to turn evil and start attacking the people and i’ll have no control over my actions” thing!”

My cardigan was the next to tear and peel away,  reforming into a lovely dark grey jacket,  which I have to admit looked pretty nice on me.

“Focus on my voice.”

My mind was still struggling and protesting,  trying to prevent me from losing my identity – it was like it didn’t want me to change: “Aaah..please..noo..can’t we just talk this over? I mean I didn’t mean to say that i wanted was a figure of speech. And besides i’m safer if I don’t give in..if I give in then I would be doing what you want me to do, if i don’t..then i’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Only my voice..and..cowbell. Tink tink tink.”



The sound of that familiar word droned repeatedly in my head,  as my mind slowly started to become more and more affected by it,  as indicated by the next thought that escaped from it: “Oh..why can’t I think straight? All I can think about is cowbell..its sound..echoing in my head..must resist..Nathan, you’re stronger than this..don’t listen to can fight this. Good always wins over can do this.”

I looked at my arms for a brief seconds and felt a brief tingling and stretching sensation,   as the skintone on my arms and hands paled –   my arms were also stretching and growing longer and thinner.    My fingers were also longer as well.

My arm hair receeded and my furred gloves slowly shedded off much more…umm Walkeny hands,   I was becoming more fascinated by this by the minute even though my mind was trying to fight against it.

“Cowbell…cowwwwbeeeellllll. Cow….bellll…..”

“Ooh….aaaawrrr……cowbell..i waaaant moreee…cowbell..cowbell…yes..i do.aaarh!”

“Yes…you do.”

I felt a chill jolt up my spine,  almost as if something wasn’t right but alas I did not even notice not..not even as my mind once again responded with protest filled thoughts mainly along the lines of “no..i don’t..” and “Aaaaaarh..oh’s gotta be a way out of this..ah ha! The mantra! Once I start saying that..the curse of the cowbell shall no longer corrupt my innocent mind.”

Feeling the chill run through the rest of my body,  I wrapped a blanket around my lower body as another set of low growls escaped from my throat.

“Yess……please..please..morrrrrre cowbell..mmorrrrrrrrre!”

I ripped the blanket off my lower body to reveal that my legs were also shifting,  growing longer and thinner just like my arms.     I couldn’t help but notice how long and graceful my now Walkeny legs were.

Another protest came from my mind as it tried to tell me to resist the call of cowbell,  but I knew better. 

“Why oh why do you resist the thing you most desire??
Relax..listen…cowbell..tink tink tink..”

My mind was about to speak up one more time,  but it turns out this would be the last human thought it would ever have:  “Because..i..i..i..”   

Which was cut short by a strange but rather soothing stretching sensation as the pale skintone from before now moved up the rest of my body,  what little body hair I had was receeding to allow the now pale skintone to take over.    My frame slenderized and became more lithe as the room started to spin.

“Jon..i think you are shrinking…”

“ are obeying.. and growing…to your proper height..”

Jon was right,  I was obeying and growing as my now Walkenized mind became more intelligent and was filled with Walken-like thoughts,   I slowly elevated in height from 5’7 to 6’ft and not only that I was now a lot more lithe and elegant in terms of my build.

Not only were my arms and legs Walkeny but my body had also followed suit,  I couldn’t help but let a few cheerful growls in the process as my strength increased to inhuman levels.

“Hey…this is nice…oooh..i like this…I wonder if..”

“Why yes,  you can my Walken…give it a try.”

I lifted up a large table full of heavy equipment and to my amazement I was able to lift it in one feat of inhuman strength.

Yes.. I have inhuman strength!”

“Yes..this is going well… your powers are developing.”

“Aaaahh…yes..yes..I never thought that this would be so good..i feel so much more agile as well.”

“That is your agility increasing…all Walkens are inhumanly agile and can do this and so much more with your new powers.”

“ Powers?  As in supernatural powers?  Hmm…I must have acquired inhuman agility as well.”

I felt a surge of energy darting through my body as I ran with inhuman agility,  it was pretty exciting.

“There is more. Much more.”

“Oooh…yes…I am intrigued…ooh..”

“Your senses are heightening and increasing…these will come in useful for hunting.”

I growled slightly as I listened,  my senses were now fully heightened –  as I swore I could hear a familiar sound.

“Hey,  what’s that sound? It’’’s..cowbell! Yes, come to me…..oh yes..I can hear it even though it’s not really there!”

“That is part of your Walken instinct…it knows you want cowbell.”

I felt a tingling sensation as it went up my neck,  making my neckline grow longer and thinner as my jaw-line shifted to become more angular.

I giggled slightly as my hair turned a lovely sandy brownish colour and prickled up,  standing up on end to become Walken-like.

““Heh..that tickles!”

“This is only the beginning.. there is much more..”

“Aaaaooh…yes..tell me a little bit more.”

“I shall…”

Another low growl escaped from my throat as my face turned pale along with my neck,  my eyebrows were thinning out and turning the same colour as my hair.

My eyes turned from hazel brown to blue with dark green inner rings as they spread out and became narrower.

“Oooh..yes..good..I feel’s all coming back!”

“There is this mouse, and he joined the three little pigs on SNL. He did not drown in the cream, because he was that 2nd mouse. As a prize, he got..more cowbell.”

“Ah yes…I remember it well. And he originally came from Sleepy Hollow..and had razor sharp pointed teeth and piercing aquamarine eyes..and a thirst for human blood..”

I felt another tingling sensation,  this time it was building up in my forehead as it began to slowly thicken and grow.

“You see only the aquamarine hear only more cowbell…it all seems right now, doesn’t it?  You are looking in the mirror, and you see the many faces of Walken. In your mind, you hear only..more cowbell..”

“Aaaahh…yes.  Yes!”

My hair perked up excitedly as my forehead continued to swell and grow,  elevating itself higher up on my face.    My eyes shifted to become slightly sunken in the process.

“When I count to 3, you will be Walken, only Walken and his many roles, and you cannot revert.
1…2..3..cowbell. tink tink tink tink..”


Another growl escaped from my throat,  this time it was a satisfactory growl as my nose thinned out in length.   My lips also thinned out and darkened a little – contorting into a crescent shape that was mostly noticable on my upperlip –   the corners of my lips were now sharply pointed.   

My ears flattened slightly as my chin narrowed out slightly,  my senses at this point were already fully heightened.
“Of course it feels nice Chris. Now, how about you tell me about some of your favorite moments on screen?”

I growled for a few minutes as my cheekbones became more pronounced,  my cheeks also thinned out a light as my facial features matched the rest of my appearance in terms of how Walken-like it was.

I concentrated as my facial expression contorted itself into a pseudo grimace/half snarl – making it look sorrowful but menacing –  very Walkeny as well.

“Too many to list..heh..heh..ooh..this is so good..urr…”

“Come on, tell me about the mice! I love that one!”

“Oh…okay then.  Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.   Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.”

As I said that signature line from the hit movie Catch Me If You Can,   my voice began to deepen and become gravellier in pitch but all the while developing a hypnotic and stoic tone and vocal pattern.

“Ahaha, classic! I love it Chris! You know, with your voice, you can make the story of the 3 little pigs fascinating!”

“I can?  Oh yes… aaaah…yesss..yess..”

I nodded,  growling happily in approval as my voice grew deeper still , the hypnotic tone and vocal patterns taking over and becoming my own –  my voice was Walkenizing as was my mind,  in addition to this a New York accent developed –  altering my speech patterns as well.

Not only did I resemble Walken now but I sounded like him too,  and as my Walkeny instincts took over –   I had now fully transformed into Chris Walken himself.    I ran over to the mirror and couldn’t believe how beautiful I had become.

“Excellent Smithers! Release the hounds!!”

“Oh yes..much better.”

“Chris…are you ready to test out your new Walken powers?”

“Yes…but i’m a little hungry and a little bit thirsty.”

“Then let’s get you some fresh blood…come along,  Chris..”

“Yes,  master!”

I roared happily as I followed Jon,  my new master –  we both stepped outside to go a bit of hunting.   

Upon reaching my first victim,  I leaped out at them with inhuman speed and then used my hypnotic powers to put them in a trance while I happily lapped up their blood.

It sent another rush of energy through my body as my already blue eyes briefly glowed for a few minutes and turned aquamarine blue,   my fingernails grew longer and became quite sharp as my teeth lengthened and sharpened.    This made me look a bit like the Hessian.  

“Well done!  You’re now a complete Walken!  How did your first meal taste?”


“There is more where that come from.”


“Stick with me,  Chris…we’re going to be a terrific team.”

With that the two of us continued on our hunting trip,  searching for new victims to capture and make into ‘Walkens’.

Which we still do even today,  as part of a worldwide Walkenization project.    Everyone is invited to join in the Walken experience.    

So that is the story of how I changed from a human scientist into a sleek and powerful alpha male Walken and the origin of our Walkenization project.


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